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Thursday, 02 July 2009 21:23 |
There have been many things written and much advice shared with the aim at helping a husband and wife's relationship to grow. Valentine’s Day is a special day set aside to celebrate love. Couples are always looking for new ways to bring romance and intimacy into their relationship. These can all be pleasant expectations and gestures; but without a carefully laid underlying foundation of trust and respect, couples will not prosper and grow together properly. Other efforts will grow stale in time, not producing the results we are seeking for.
When most people first get married there is a strong attraction to one another sometimes referred to the "honeymoon" period. But as couples continue on down the road of life together, responsibilities increase. Bills need to be paid, home and vehicles maintained and sometimes children come along which has a huge impact on their lives and responsibilities. Too often, many begin to just take marriage for granted. Some couples may have never really established that real foundation of trust and respect. Later in life we come to a place where the children are grown up and often it comes back to just the husband and wife. Suddenly we begin to realize that we don’t know each other like we thought we did.
Every working relationship we have takes a level of trust. To interact casually with people takes trust; to enter into a business contract takes yet more trust. According to the level of seriousness of the circumstances is the level of trust that needs to be invested. We need to be able to work together when problems arise. There has to be a working effort in our relationships to establish and maintain trust and respect between the husband and wife. It is more crucial than we might realize.
A closer loving and committed relationship, as we desire to have in our marriages, takes a special attention to love, trust, and respect. If you want the relationship to grow deeper past the “honeymoon” stage, there must be a deeper level of trust. We can continue on down the road of life together yet not really preserve the level of necessary trust.
How is Trust gained or grown? Is it something that just happens or doesn’t happen? Realistically trust is earned. Sometimes we don’t gain respect because we don’t put forth any effort to earn it. If you want trust to work in a deeper way you must put forth the effort for it to grow further.
Many times in the world couples try to cultivate a closer relationship through marriage and family counseling groups. But so often these prove fruitless because there has been no foundation laid of trust and respect. Too often we see people that are married yet their hearts are in another place. Even in modern "Christianity" or religion we see people that are married lusting after other people and other things.Too many have a lot of other issues or things prioritizing their efforts and time yet still trying to build a marriage.
This is a good illustration why we need to be delivered from sin. Jesus said if a man lusts after another woman he has committed adultery with her already in his heart. (Matt 5: 28) If both the husband and wife are saved, there is a different level of intimacy and closeness that goes with trust, knowing that one has the principles of Christ written on their heart. But that is still just the beginning of a close relationship. Throughout the years of our marriage trust must be built upon and earned.
For more reading on building trust and respect into your marriage see:
Trust and Respect are Foundational to Marriage
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