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Monday, 08 June 2009 07:16 |
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For our relationships to grow in a positive direction, it is critical that we build with trust and respect. Faithfulness is also critical for without faithfulness there is no relationship. But if we want our relationship to be more fulfilling we have to go beyond faithfulness. Trust and respect gives us the liberty to learn more about each other and provides the tools needed to work through problems.
Trust and respect should not be viewed as something you either have or you don't have; We can build trust and we can earn respect.
Our communication- the way we express ourselves- will either build up or tear down the trust and respect.
"A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards." Psalms 29:11
Ways of expression that will tear down a foundation of trust and respect are being sharp, brass or cutting;
Are we more tactful with people outside our home than with our spouse? Do we take our loved one for granted? Do we keep an emotional “scoreboard”, a kind of “Tit for Tat” - "you hurt me so I will hurt you?" In an emotionally charged or heated argument do we use phrases like, “You never...” or “You're always...” - These types of phrases are distortions of the truth; and they will distort our view of the truth.
When words hurt, trust is hurt! If we want to build up the trust and respect in our relationship we should - Work toward a peaceful environment
- Show Respect in our communication
- Don't take our loved one for granted
- Keep private things private
In an emotionally charged argument sometimes it is best to withdraw and let things cool down before discussing the issue again.
"A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness." Proverbs 15:1-2
It is important to note that the wise in this scripture does not mean the educated. Wisdom is taking time to notice the effect of our words and then taking responsibility for that effect and changing what is necessary.
Both Husband and Wife must have the same desire to build their relationship for the relationship to grow. Sometimes, due to physical, emotional, or spiritual reasons, we are not on the same page. Trust and respect will not work if they are only working on one side of a relationship. If this is the case don't be condemned when you feel your relationship is not going in the right direction. Remember, when we don't feel that we can have trust in our spouse in a certain issue, we can always trust God. He can do more for our relationship than anyone else.
The openness that trust provides will help us resolve problems and by showing respect we will work through those issues without making them worse.
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