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Everything we do in life takes some level of trust. To create a close, loving relationship we need to pay special attention to trust and respect.
Faithfulness is truly important to any relationship but trust and respect are the catalyst which make our relationships more meaningful. Without them we can only expect a shallow marriage that may not have what it takes to last a lifetime. Trust: - to place confidence in
- to commit to one's care or keeping
- to permit to stay or go or do something without fear or misgiving
- to rely on
Respect: - Regard- high or special esteem
- the act of giving particular attention- consideration
- concern for
Just because you are married doesn't mean that you have all the trust and respect that you want. Trust is earned. It takes effort. This is true even in our relationship with almighty God. Can the Lord completely trust you just because you are saved? Looking at Psalm 26: (2) "Examine me O Lord, and prove me; try my reins and my heart" There are things that need to be proved before God can trust us with some things. (4-5) "I have not sat with vain persons, neither will I go in with the dissemblers; I have hated the congregation of evil doers; and will not sit with the wicked;" Our choices show what we really are- who we company with- where we go- how we spend our time. The Lord can trust us by how we walk. (8) "Lord, I have loved the habitation of the house, and the place where thine honor dwelleth." What are we doing in our marriage to earn trust and respect? We need to be sensitive to what will build trust and what will tear it down. When we come together in a marriage we are coming from two different backgrounds and cultures. The Apostle Paul said, "I have become all things to all people..." Culturally he became like the people he was with and he went the distance. He didn't just go with words and say, "I understand." He lived like them- ate what they ate, wore what they wore. He came to know them in a very personal way in order to gain their trust and respect. His only agenda was that they might "know Christ and him crucified." There was no selfishness involved. Likewise, we bring our culture into our marriage with us. Much of what we bring are things that won't build trust and respect. Sometimes we bring bombs- the way we express ourselves, our strong opinions, our dislikes and the way we express them - they can all be like bombs in our marriage tearing down trust and respect. We need to pay special attention to what the bombs are. Sometimes we need to ask our spouse if we have a way about us that affects them negatively. Are we concerned with the deep issues of our spouse or do we just ignore what we don't understand? Can we talk about things that are important or do we shy away because it makes us feel uncomfortable? Do we really know our spouse on a intimate and personal level or just superficially? Are we sensitive to the way our spouse was raised and their culture with a carefulness not to do or say things that may injure trust and respect? Are we willing, like the Apostle Paul, to change from the way we were raised to better understand and build trust and respect in our spouse? If we love our spouse and are interested in having a deeper and more meaningful relationship, we can begin to build a strong foundation of trust and respect.
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